Black women do not exist to save america

I’m so deeply grateful for @slroper8 and the opportunity to love her. I’ve been thinking a lot about the trauma of existing in this moment - as femmes, as people of color, as queer people, as artists, and for Shannon as a Black woman. It truly feels like any moment of bliss and joy can be interrupted by a mass questioning (or outright denial) of our right to exist, to create and to love. And then I look over at this partner in life - her soft smile, her bellowing laugh, her curls, her curves, her passionate ramblings, her simplicity, her pain, her joy, her fear, her grin, her tears - and I think of what divine graces brought this person into existence. I think of what magic brought us together and made us feel like we were literally made for one another. I’m grateful that we can escape together, mourn together, fight together and cherish what we have together. I’m grateful that in these moments of endless oppression and pain, I can be a source of laughter, peace and simplicity for her. It drives me to care for myself revolutionarily so that at the very least, we can smile together through the tumult.

I’ve been seeing a lot about how Black women will save America. I read something over the summer as we revolutionized against police brutality about how loving a black woman in this moment is a profound gift and a profound responsibility. I didn’t think it applied to me, because I myself am not black. To the contrary, this commitment to loving a Black woman for the rest of my life — to tend to her, to support her, to uplift her in moments of strength and especially in moments of weakness — has taught me so much about how deeply this country has misunderstood black femininity. Shannon has taught me that black femininity is an expansive spectrum of emotional and spiritual possibilities. And the opportunity to love black femininity is an opportunity to expand ourselves and expand our understanding of humanity, vulnerability, resilience, strength, beauty and humor. Black women are not here to save or educate a country that has hurt them at every juncture. They are here to be loved, to be upheld, to LIVE, to EXIST, to CREATE, and to just BE. I love you, Shannon.