National Coming Out Day Post

Happy #nationalcomingoutday dear fam! A few days ago, an old Facebook post popped up in my memories where I called myself “a straight ally” and it got me thinking about labels. So often, the act of #comingout, which is really a personal journey of liberation from labels, becomes a public journey of choosing a new label for the benefit of other people. #Queerness is ever-evolving. #Genderidentity is ever-evolving. #Love is a gradient. #Sexuality is a spectrum. So here’s four pictures of me at various stages of queerness:

1. At age 16, for a world history class, we were tasked with dressing up as a selection of historical figures. Most brown girls went as Mumtaz and most brown boys went as Akbar. I had a crush on a boy in my class and thought the best way to impress him was to wear the same outfit as him and ask him to help me with my mustache.

2. At age 20, I tried to be a “stud.” I didn’t quite know what that meant, but I liked playing with masculinity and felt like it was a way to express some part of myself. It was also a nice way to ward off conversations about my future husband.

3. Between the ages of 22 and 25, I cut my hair shorter and shorter, often reactively. It was liberating and terrifying. It was impulsive and existential. It was a very good distraction from mental health, queerness and more.

4. At age 27, my queerness has manifested, my femininity is a radical choice and I love myself fully. It turns out all of those flirtations with masculinity were my queerness’s way of showing itself. Now that I feel safe embracing my queerness, my gender feels free as well. What’s more, instead of a boy helping me draw on a mustache, I have a girl who helps me with my curls. (📸: @mollygazay)

Queerness can look so many different ways. It can also look different from day to day. Queerness isn’t about who you love right now. It is about who you are intrinsically. Queerness is your limitlessness and your potential energy. I hope this national coming out day, we can truly come out of these limiting labels and embrace something dynamic, fluid and revolutionary. Wishing you all well in your blossoming. It may be slow, but it is worth it. 🌈🥰💜✊🏽